FINALLY, I'm back online and feeling sentimental and a little Merry Maniacal as I tackle Santa's gift list after hours. The family is nestled all snug in their beds ......, while I'm at the laptop and Pa in his cap, they'd all settled down for a long winter's nap (well, we hope it's long), Out in the living room there arose such a clatter, Mom's dusted, decorated and wrapped all christmas matter. What to my red, puffy eyes should appear, but empty bank accounts, bills and dirty laundry drawn near. The house was a mess, it happens so damned quick, I heard hubby snoring, that lazy dick. I got down to business, went straight from my work, poured myself a martini, then turned with a jerk. And laying the laundry piles aside as I rose, from the chair onto my ass, catching sight of my toes. My head how it ached, my butt dimples, how merry. My back cramped from that behemoth baby I carry. I stood to admire my broad, flabby belly, that shakes when I laugh, yell, or anytime, really. I spoke not a word, just a sigh to myself, sent a wish for a maid, or a small house elf. Then popping the pimple on the side of my nose, added facial to my wishlist of leather handbags and new clothes. For all those mommies who are doing their job right, "Merry Christmas, goddamnit. And for god's sake, get some sleep tonight!"