The Environment Is Trying to Kill Me

It all started with the Electric Car. Well, sort of. Since watching the movie "Who Killed the Electric Car?"the other night I've been feeling rather inspired to do my part to doop those evil oil companies. So, when I scanned my dinner menu and noticed I needed a few items from the store, I chose to forgo my gas powered vehicle for a much greener alternative, the double stroller. I suited up for a late afternoon run and strutted out the door like some eco-superhero to meet my doom. I didn't make it a block before Ana started screaming. My superhero theme song came to a halt along with the double stroller and the screaming. Ana was much happier...until I tried to sit her back in her seat, whoah! So I powered on a few more blocks to a different theme song, more like a wailing siren. I got half way to the store and thought about turning around. I couldn't take the screaming, it was zapping my super powers, cramping my super style. No, I wasn't going to drive that car, I had not put on my cape and donned my eco-friendly socks for nothing. Running is impossible while holding a baby and pushing a 60 lb. double stroller one handed (I tried) so I settled for speed walking the rest of the way. Okay, I made it to the store but now BOTH my hands are occupied and I can't put anything in my cart. With a lot of persuasion and some bribery, Shelby became my super gadget arm. I was on my way to the checkout aisle, I had almost completed my quest, when shiny pink packages of gum blocked my way. "But I want gum, MOMMMYYYYYY!! I want it, I want it!" Gathering my cape with my one free hand, I bumped the stroller out of the doors in hopes of leading my screaming gadget arm safely out of the gum's way. Ka-ZAM! It worked. She was in the stroller and my superhero arms were losing strength from carrying Ana for the last half hour. I speed walked to the end of the parking lot to avoid any onlookers while I loaded the baby in the stroller. I knew the wailing theme song would begin the minute I set her down. And it did. Okay, super strength legs, get us home. FAST! Just as I rounded the last corner to our lair, my neighbor, Chatty Cathy spots us and starts in with, "Were you gone? We were wondering because we knocked on your door and you didn't answer but we noticed your car was there. So we were wondering where you....." I just smiled and said something about not being able to stop. She watched me the whole way home. Both kids were crying now and my theme song was driving me nuts! Damn this cape. I should have just taken the car.

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