2/18/08

Floss

I don't know about the rest of you, but I attempt to floss regularly out of fear for my future. That's right, I'm scared of what odors my mouth is capable of as I age. I had a Mechanical Drawing teacher in high school that was older than dirt and he had a cloud of stench that surrounded him. Rumors flew about how he still lived with his mother, and how his polyester slacks and sweater vests had never seen the inside of a washing machine. This guy smelled wrong. I cringed anytime he circled the classroom to observe progress and correct mistakes. I think I tried extra hard to do everything perfectly so he wouldn't lean over my desk and open his mouth to speak-NASTY! It smelled like he was rotting from the inside out. Somewhere between week old, summer road kill and the bottom of a dirty trash bin sprinkled with musty moth ball cologne. I learned much later in life, from a friend who worked as a dental hygienist, that regular flossing is the number one way to avoid bad breath. And she added that older generations who didn't have the opportunity to appreciate the power of the floss suffer from incurable rotten breath as the tarter between their teeth has been left for decades to compound the stench until the smell becomes so strong they don't even have to open their mouth to know that they're actually rotting from the inside out. Hence, my Mechanical Drawing teacher. So, for that long winded reason, I floss. Yesterday, I got up early to shower and donned a piece of mint floss as I stood under the warm water. I was curious to see if I came up with anything on the string because I had JUST brushed my teeth the night before and then fallen asleep. How much stuff could be left in there? Much to my horror, I found that nearly every crevice was filled with tarter and, you guessed it, stunk. I didn't even have to bring it to my nose to get an idea of my own morning breath. Disgusting. So, I guess I'll be flossing morning and night until I die. Wouldn't want to start rotting from the inside out anytime soon.

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