I Hate Valentine's Day

Okay, I hate Valentine's Day. Well, just one part of the day. Right now. The decibal level in my house could shatter glass, my ears are ringing, the girls are screaming and the amount of sugar injected into Shelby's system has definitely impaired her ability to operate heavy machinery. After our morning Playdate and brunch with friends, I loaded the girls into the car to race to Shelby's afternoon preschool party. On the way, as Shelby literally jolted in her carseat, I concluded the rest of my day was doomed. No, not just doomed, I was F$%!ED. Her voice was so high pitched only dogs could understand her, her eyes bulged, she was literally frothing at the mouth. Why on earth was I subjecting myself to another party today? Am I F&%!ing nuts? Today's diet consisted of sugar cookies (made with sugar, filled with choco sugar chunks and then sprinkled with, you guessed it, more sugar), cupcakes so electric pink they could be seen from space, lollipops to ensure complete tooth decay, and juice WITH REFILLS! What kind of preschool teacher does that?? REFILLS? Why don't you just give them Redbull and some crack? It didn't completely hit her until we got home. At which point, she actually took flight, circled the moon, rocketed through our living room, toppled two dining chairs, broke a plate ("Opah!"), and splattered 300 books all over the kitchen floor. I have a moment to type because we are now in the withdrawal phase of our day. This began with heightened whining, then yelling, then crying and finally nonstop screaming-I joined in on the last quarter for a double whammy. If ya can't beat 'em... Our neighbors already know we're crazy. When she totally crashed I proposed a group time-out. Every girl in their respective bed for 5 minutes. Shelby's bed had animal mags and some foam sticker art, Ana's crib ws stocked with toys, and my bed miraculously produced a laptop and a cold beer!

1 comment:

JO said...

And birthday hangovers...makes me want to ban cupcakes from consumption! Wow, juice refills...that's messed up.