2/7/08

My Colorful Neighborhood

My neighborhood is full of interesting characters I have come to know since we moved in. I think you'd like to meet them, too. There's the old guy down the street who is a habitual packrat. Rumor has it he was once a rocket scientist until he cracked up and now he collects everything from packaged Milgard windows (that collect in his driveway) to vintage luxury vehicles(that collect everywhere except his driveway). His hodgepodge house is draped in phone cords and electrical wires stapled to the siding that enter and exit various holes drilled into the "fort". I call it a fort because there are multiple surveillance cameras on every corner of the house to keep an eye on the "Free" table he piles with stuff every Sunday. He wears the same white T-shirt and shorts every day, no matter the weather, and rides around on a miniature forklift.
There's the ex-CIA guy and his wife, we refer to as "The Ambassador & The Artist". Supposedly, he keeps a small collection of human skulls in glass cases. I haven't seen them myself. She owns two houses in the neighborhood that she uses as art studios. Rotating her sleeping quarters from house to house as the mood strikes her. I often see her walking around the block in her bathrobe carrying a basket of knicknacks.
The Shooter: This guy lives around the corner and has made a name for himself blowing away neighborhood Possums with his Colt 45. I hope he has 20/20 vision...
The Classy Couple: These gentlemen live in the well kept house down the street, the one with the perfectly manicured yard, and tactful holiday decorations.
And then there's Chatty Cathy. She lives across the street with her 1 year old and I always run into her on my way out the door, already late for something. I usually get trapped in a one-sided conversation about some elementary topic like diapers or feeding schedules to which I can't get a word in edge wise. Cathy assumes everyone she talks at knows nothing. Leaving her listener the victim of countless factoids about commonplace details. I can't seem to come up with a more interesting way to describe her very uninteresting habit of discussion. Just believe me, it's boring. And then I'm really late to wherever I was going.
I've only exposed the tip of the neighborhood iceberg. Stay tuned!

No comments: