The Terrible Toddler Phase

For the past week I have tried to convice myself that my three year old was coming down with "something". There could be no other reason for her crabby attitude, multiple timeouts before breakfast, and outright bitchiness (mostly towards me). Do toddlers get PMS, too? After additional naps, added vitamins, extra balanced nutrition I have come to grips with the truth of the matter: my daughter has become a whining little brat. A cross between Roald Dahl's Veronica Salt ("But I want the Golden Ticket, Daddy! I want it! I want it!") and a mini John McEnroe in his hey day. I recall, with humility, that day I sat in on a parent's discussion about discipline, timeouts, and restriction with children ages 2 to 4. Shelby was about 4 months shy of her third birthday, that would be referred to now as "The Glory Days". And I said, oh man, when my turn came I actually said, aloud, "I haven't had to use any discipline tactics besides asking her nicely and she obeys." The glares, the short exhales, none of it registered until now. At this particular moment, my little "angel" has escaped from her room for the third time, it's 45 minutes past her bedtime and she's crying and screaming "Mommy's meeeeeaaaaannnnnnn." If you're lucky, the "Terrible Two's" strikes early and your child won't be verbal enough to say things to you like, "You hurted my feelings!" or scream, "I hate you, you stinky girl."


JO said...

Did you find that off button yet? Two kids losing their minds and crying non-stop...really need an off button!

JO said...

Just thought I would let you know that I just pulled my precious little angel out of the car while she was having a full blown-kicking-screaming-throw-your-head-back-hang onto the car seat as I pulled her out of the car tantrum. As I was about to lose my mind because this has been happening ALL day...I just started laughing at how absurd she was being - you would think I was going to feed her to the lions! I always wonder what our neighbors think!

Gabrielle said...

Let's just imagine what voracious energy we could harness if we bottled "Toddler Tantrums" for a living? Undeniably, a dangerous occupation but such a necessary cause. Keep your "Toddler Tantrum" nearby to deter stalkers, train your dog, scare away pesky neighbors, and use as a distraction in uncomfortable situatuations! Call now for your industrial sized jar of "Toddler Tantrum".