The Car Wash

A clean house and a clean car equal complete perfection in my book. So I paid the house cleaners and set off to pick Shelby up from school with a plan to hit the nearby gas station and redeem my receipt for a drive-thru car wash with both kids in tow. I know what you're thinking and yes, I am totally nuts. But, I spent over an hour scrubbing my rims this morning (something to do while my house was being scoured for me) which I had forgotten were once a shiny chrome. Rims? Do I sound like I'm rollin' in a lowered Impala? Whatever you call those wheelie things that decorate your tire. We drove towards the gas station only to discover that apparently everyone in town had the same idea (they probably all have house cleaners). Determined to complete my bizarre agenda of anal retention, I forged on to my spot as #7 in the car wash line up. I turned off the car (smog emissions), busted out the wet wipes, and turned up Raffi. I let Shelby out of her car seat and handed her a wipey. Somehow, we managed the nearly 30 minute wait before pulling up to the automated keypad where I entered my code. "Unauthorized number, please try again or press pound for assistance." I squinted at my receipt and reread the numbers when I noticed the date printed above, Expires: April 29. WHAT THE F&$???? How can my $7 car wash code expire? I stomped on the gas and revved through the empthe car wash garage with Shelby loose in the passenger seat. Forgot about those speed bumps in there, sorry sweetheart. I pulled my car up on the sidewalk in front of the quickmart entrance and jumped out. Whatever I said to the guy must have been convincing because he quickly scribbled a new number and handed it over. Thanks a lot, buddy. Okay, regroup, Round 2. We pulled off the sidewalk and headed around to an even longer line this time. I exhaled deeply and noticed the 75 cent vacuum station beside my car. A light went on and I got out with quarters in hand. I set to work sucking cheerios and moldy raisins off the floor of my car when I heard a car horn beep. Oh no, someone did not just honk at me did they? I glanced ahead and noted that there were still 2 cars waiting and we were stopped a few empty car spaces back. No rush, I'm using up all 75 cents of this crappy vacuum. Beep beep. I looked back to see a scowling woman approach my vehicle. "Are you in the car wash line?" she growls. Am I in the car wash line? Hell yes, for the SECOND time because I just waited behind 6 cars and when I got up there I realized my coupon expired so I demanded a do over and did I mention I have two kids in the car and (am I yelling?) you better believe I'm in the car wash line!!! Auuuggghhhhhhhh! Exactly 68 minutes later, perfection was mine. DING!

No comments: