The Things I Know

A healthy marriage is not a perfect one.
Dinner restaurants with real silverware are meant for adults.
My car won't be clean until my kids have cars of their own.
Santa Claus really does exist.
Sanity is attained with the words "No thank you". Especially when applied to preschool birthday parties and collaborative garage sales.
Setting things on the roof of my car is NEVER a good idea.
Being good at many things, and the best at nothing, is finally okay with me.
If I want my children to have cute clothes, I cannot rely on relatives to provide them.
Baby Einstein is a genius, Baby Sign Language is addictive, and Elmo is God.
There really should be 3 more hours in a day (preferably during the middle of the night).
When I pay, it's a vacation. When they pay, it's an obligation.
Sometimes you have to scrap the agenda and head to the beach.
Pedicures are part of the budget. College funds are not.
Babysitters are also part of the budget. They'll always be cheaper than marriage counselors.
Baby wipes rule.
Surprises are for me to give. And no, I will never receive one, no matter how much I hint to him.
Retail therapy will always make a bad day better.
Bragging about my children, especially when I think they're not listening, is an effective way to boost their confidence (thanks, Mom).
Speaking of moms, my mom really does know best, most of the time.
Ignoring the laundry is never a good idea, but will always feel like one.
Retail therapy is a distant second to true friends.
A house cleaner is the answer to all my problems.
And yes, afternoon cocktails are still perfectly normal.

1 comment:

JO said...

LOVE IT! And too true. All of them.