The Bottle Fairy

I have embarked on a fairy fantasy adventure with my family in tow. Thanks to a grand introduction and flight path send off from my new friend, B, my family is addicted to the Bottle Fairy fantasy phone call. WHAT!? You've NEVER heard of the Bottle Fairy? Well, it all began with a Boobah....
Upon meeting a fellow mother and building conversation upon that which we are most familiar, one often shares parenting know how, funny moments, and those bothersome parenting hitches. Some new friends will agree, some won't, and some throw on their capes and come to your rescue. In this particular situation, I shared with B how my amazing, pretentious, bright, talkative and outgoing 3 and a half year old was still taking a bottle of milk 2 to 3 times a day and again after brushing her teeth at bedtime. In retrospect, I was in complete denial that this was a problem I had to confront, battle and solve. But not B. She had other plans for me and my bottle toting toddler.
First she nodded, then she shared her daughter's similar issue with a pacifier (Enter Boobah, stage right), and then she donned a cape and a wand and sprinkled Boobah Fairy dust all over Shelby and the rest of our family.
Little did I know that she had a direct line to her daughter's Boobah Fairy (and the ethereal solution to all parenting problems) where presents rain from the sky when you trade your Boobahs in for good.
The Boobah Fairy?! Where have I been???
Then B knelt down in front of Shelby as our family dinner came to a close (and Shelby eyed the fridge for her bottle of milk), and introduced the promise of a Bottle Fairy to our household.
(In a voice only helium could make), "And you too can have the Bottle Fairy come to your house just like our Boobah Fairy. And when you can go to bed at night with a sippy cup of water, your Bottle Fairy will watch you. And late one night, when you're all done with your bottles, she will come and take them away and leave you a whole pile of presents!!!!!!"
She turned to my husband and scribbled a number down, apparently the Bottle Fairy's private line (which looked more like $$$$ to me). And then we turned to observe Shelby's impression of this fairytale and the look on her face said it all.
"Are you ready to try a sippy cup, Shelby?" I asked, hoping to ride the wave of inspiration.
"Mommy, will the Bottle Fairy really come to our house?" Uh-oh, not doubt, no no no doubt allowed!!!
"Yes, sweetheart, and she wants to bring you lots of cool presents when you can give up your bottles! What presents would you want to have?"
"A bubble machine!" (starting small...this is good)
"And pink Ugg boots!" (uh-oh)
"And....a PLAYHOUSE!!!!"
I looked at John's face and she may as well have asked for a Bengal Tiger.
Bringing us all back to the matter at hand, I asked, "Are you ready to try a sippy cup?"
She paused for a moment and looked down at her feet, then she took a sideways glance at B's daughter (a.k.a. Recent Recipient of Boobah Fairy Treasure) and replied, "Yes, mommy! But....can daddy call the Bottle Fairy right now and tell her that I'm not having a bottle?"
HOUSTON, WE HAVE LIFT-OFF!!!! And then B grabbed two hot pink light sabers and waved our family down the runway to our Fairy Future of Fantasy Phone Calls as we gained altitude and made headway toward a bottle-free life.
And, somebody get this family a line of credit-they're gonna need it when the Bottle Fairy finally arrives...

1 comment:

H said...

Oh, thank you! Let me know how it goes... My daughter (2 years and 8 months) still needs her pacifier at night ("papa") and I am in denial that this is an issue (it's not really, is it?).