8/2/08

Bottle Fairy Update

Sshhhh, she's falling asleep. I can hardly believe our little girl is closing her eyes, gripping that ratty, yellow silk blanket, and soothing herself into sleep without further aide. For over three years we've anxiously handed over a bottle of milk-sometimes 3 bottles- and waited for Shelby to melt down into peaceful slumber. We'll have to whisper now because Shelby is sawing logs next to me in bed. Oh, did I forget to mention she's falling asleep in our bed now? Yeah, well, ya win some, ya lose some. The trade off has been a new bed partner and unbelievable credit card debt!

But, somehow, it makes it all worthwhile to watch my little girl lie down in bed, close her eyes and put herself to sleep without a bottle cradled in her mouth.

It all began, and it all ends, with the Bottle Fairy. That Bottle Fairy has dropped presents on our doorstep every so often for 4 weeks. From wood puzzles to Italian suede boots, from bubble machines to boxes of new school clothes. That Bottle Fairy sure knows how to bust the budget.

After seemingly endless gift arrivals, Shelby spent each morning scouring the house for her present from the Bottle Fairy, knowing full well she survived another night without the comfort of a full bottle of milk. I tried my best to stretch the rewards few and farther between but when FedEx delivers, there's no hiding a gigantic diesel truck and an earthquake worthy knock (no doubt at nap time).

"Eeewwwww!" Shelby would squeal as she sped towards the door, "the Bottle Fairy sent ME something else! Eeeeeeeeeee(more ape like screeching)!!!!!!!!"

And never mind the drab wrapping or lack of sparkling, thoughtful card written in fairy penmanship, Shelby was all about the present and the bragging rights.

"Look at my pretty new boots," she demands from any passerby who'll make eye contact, "they're from the Bottle Fairy!" Chest puffed, hips twirling, proudest grin forming across her sweet face. And then she whirs out of sight at warp speed on pixy jet fuel like some fancy rocket child blasting off to Neverland in a cloud of big girl smoke.

I've added up the financial damage and, once the Bottle Fairy refunds me for the first pair of red boots that were too big, we have invested a grand total of $158.74 into the Anti-Bottle Pact. Half of the items were back-to-school-basics like shoes and clothes. The other half, pure bribery. But, the tab is not closed just yet. Like some half wit, I cooked up the proposal to ask the Bottle Fairy for a playhouse!

I know what you're thinking and yes, it DID sound like a grand idea...at the time. John and I have been feverishly designing our final landscape plans before crews arrive this Monday. We knew we were reducing our back yard to a blank slate, so what better child friendly element than a playhouse to fill a corner of our plans?! What a load of crap!

I've spent the past 2 weeks obsessively scouring the Internet for "The Perfect Shed (I mean Playhouse)". And I've reached two conclusions: #1 Perfect Sheds only exist for Perfect Millionaires who wish to fork over $4000+ for the right shape and size to suit a yard. #2 The people who buy the following playhouses are breeding some bizarre culture far from reality. Observe.


I mean, seriously, who's kids ARE these????

If you're a budget shopper, and think that small spaces are cozy, this wee home is offered at a mere $18,999.99. For further details, click http://www.lilliputplayhomes.com/grand-victorian-playhouse.asp

3 comments:

JO said...

Congratulations??? That is great that she is "off" the bottle, but sorry for your debt! Hang in there...looking forward to seeing the back yard! And there is always Daniel's Woodland for playhouses, but I think they are a little on the pricey side as well!

Gabrielle said...

I'm checking it out online RIGHT now. Thanks for the tip! G

JO said...

How about a refrigerator box?!? Too temporary...