A Low Moment

on
I awoke yesterday morning severely hungover. I know, I know, I'm too old for this ridiculousness....on a Monday. John's friend, Mr. Hollywood descended upon us at dinner time and unexpectedly accepted our invitation for dinner. The wine flowed and apparently my conscience, which usually steps in at some point to remind me that I am the mother of two children and I have around the clock responsibilities that do not include hugging toilets or midday napping, stepped out for the night. Yes, I blame my inadequate conscience for this blunder and no one else.
Getting back to the poignant moment I'm sure I will pay for...
I struggled to pack Shelby's lunch before preschool and upon bagging the pb & j felt the urge to purge. I ran to the nearest bathroom and kneeled in penance ("Heavenly Father, Please forgive me for my sins -Huiugghhh!-I will never try to keep up with Mr. Hollywood-Huugghhh!-I am not 21 anymore-Uggghhhhh!") and then, the pitter patter of tiny feet. I now have an audience, one perched upon her big girl stool looking down at me and the other climbing up the toilet to dive in. Oh my God, how many things are wrong with this picture? Today I am a shitty mom.

Comments

tj said…
That reminds me of a time long ago when a group of girls got together on a Wednesday night to have a little drink or two or four or well we stopped counting after awhile. Anyway the next day I had to cancel a playdate with some dear friends (thankfully one of the Mums was my companion the night before) and could do nothing more than lie on the couch while my two little boys watched on. Thankfully E was only months old so he worked with me in waking to feed then going peacefully back to sleep but D who was about 2 yrs old or so sat next to me. I just remember him rubbing my arm and shaking his head and saying Mummy. I look into his gorgeous caring and sympathetic eyes and I said to him " Thankyou my gorgeous little man but don't think that I will be as sympathetic when you turn comes" That day was a very long and hard day. Though G I have to say I still over indulge every now and then or more (when I'm not pregnant). Some things may never change.
10/21/2008
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