Hey Jackass

I picked Shelby up from preschool and her forehead greeted me at the door, red, splotchy and swollen. As she put it, "She wanted to get out of the sandbox and her forehead fell on the black top."
Not five minutes after preschool pickup I rolled up the car windows and smashed all her fingers in it.
Then, when we finally got home after dual wailing from both kids (one cries and the other one starts in), and something compelled me to invoke the spirits of that show JACKASS. I've owned this car for 5 years and have been under the impression it had safety windows that would automatically unroll if anything was stuck in them. So the girls and I all stood in the driveway, I put on my Johnny Knoxville sunglasses, placed my left hand in the open window and with my right hand, rolled it up. "OOOOOWWWWWWWWEEEEE!" And the window just stopped, like a vice on my friggin fingers!
My children stood in awe of my intelligence and I can't even begin to imagine what the neighbors thought. The only upside, besides my swollen fingers, was that my children went from obnoxious crying to a silent state of shock at their own mother's stupidity.


JO said...

That is hilarious! I have done the exact same thing and wondered, why am I so dumb! Of course, I was happy no neighbors were watching and I didn't share with the world!

H said...

Thanks for the laugh out loud!