Queen Of The Crazies

I rocked up to a new hair salon yesterday with TWO kids in tow. You should have seen the look on the hairdresser's face!
The circumstances were unavoidable: one sick child, 2 inches of outgrown roots, and a babysitter who canceled only hours in advance (due to flu, of course). I couldn't CANCEL my appointment!!! I had to roll the dice.
Why not just shoot for the stars and drag my two kids into a hair salon for TWO hours?! How much worse could it really get, right?!
Right about the time I'm wrestling the stroller through the salon entrance with whining toddler in tow, a waft of nastiness encircles us from the vicinity of my stroller. And then there's this heavenly sound-like a choir of angels- and a bright white light and then, oh, it's a group of floating nuns wearing habits with a sign on them that reads "Board of Psychotic Mothers" who follows me into the middle of the lobby. And before my new hairdresser can so much as guffaw at her newest client, the Head Nun crowns me "Queen of The Crazies" and places a ginormous pink bow atop my outgrown roots.
Can you believe my luck?
And for the next two hours, at an outrageous rate $$$$$ I was on ultra mommy duty: Entertaining two children from my statuesque pose. Changing two explosive diapers before the hair dryer. Straining my neck to observe my children climbing their way to the top of the wash basin chairs, digging their fingernails into the leather, scraping their way to the crest of the mountain like two billy goats.
The salon is never going to allow us to come within 100 yards of this place!
How much do I leave for a tip so these women don't blacklist my name from every hair salon in the state????
What was I thinking? I'm stuck in this chair with strips of paper folded in my hair, a tent over my body, I'm sweating like a pig and I'm supposed to be ENJOYING THIS???Where did those little terrors go now??? ANA GET OUT OF THE TOILET!!!!!
All four hairdressers helped me with my things to get to my car. Wonder what that means?
I adjusted my giant pink "Queen of The Crazies" bow before falling into the driver's seat and speeding away. Of course, both girls were screaming.
What WAS I thinking?


JO said...

WOW! At least you gave it a shot...and hopefully your hair looks great!

Anonymous said...

But how did your hair turn out?????

Anonymous said...

Whenever I take my 3 year out to a place where there will be adults, I always think positively for the best-case scenario that he will be on his "10% of the time" best behavior. It NEVER happens.

H said...

Ugg, that sucks! It could have gone well.. sometimes it goes ok doesn't it? Maybe that's what you were thinking. Next time go alone, getting your hair done should be your time to relax! Hope you are all feeling better.