1/15/09

The Usual Guilt

Why is there so little thought applied toward the second child and yet, whenever I make time to consider her needs and development there is an overwhelming amount of guilt? I turn to admire her, the next thing I know my mind wanders around the events in her daily life, my attentiveness to her and all of a sudden I am cloaked in guilt and self doubt about my parenting and lack thereof.
When #1 was 17 months, I'd recently discovered a new world of activities for her: library story hour, gymnastics, parent participation preschool, parks, museums, playdates. I was overflowing with enthusiasm for this new parent-child world I had never before explored. We had an activity almost every day, it seemed.
And then I analyze the schedule of #2 that is wrought with interruption. Every morning we get up and have breakfast but it's cut short because sister needs to get to school. We run home for a movie, a snack, or a walk and then finally a nap. Which is also cut short because we must pick up #1 from school (on time-OR ELSE). There are playdates, but usually for #1 and little #2 must tag along. There's dance class, but #1 actually attends the class while #2 twirls in her tutu against the one way glass of the lobby.
A few weeks ago I approached the possibility of enrolling #2 in a class on the MWF that #1 attends preschool. After all, taking them both to a new class would defeat the entire purpose of evening out their score cards, right? So, correct me if I'm wrong (PLEASE) but it seems there is some sort of phenomena in the toddler activities available to us within a reasonable driving distance. But before I explain that, in support of my efforts to find an appropriate class for #2, I have contrived a list of activities already considered: Parent & Me Gymnastics, Parent Participation for Toddlers ages 1-2, Parent Participation for Behavior & Sleeping Habits with Toddlers 12 mo-18mo, Musical Movement for Toddlers. And excuse my printed screaming but THEY ARE ALL CONDUCTED ON DAYS BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER 'T'!!!!!!!
With guilt arrives action and with action arrives discovery and with discovery comes frustration which leads me back to guilt. Somebody stop this vicious circle, please.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know its not in MB but Atas. gymnastics on Wed. @10. Me and SC would love to see you two there!

tj said...

I know exactly what you are going through. I have gone further down the track in that my #2 is now 3 and constantly thinks that #1's friends are his own due to the fact that he has had to tag along to playdates b'day parties etc. I am just beginning to let him choose his own activities which is going surprisingly well and he is choosing alternatives to #1's choices. The down side to this is what do I do with the other children in our household. Saturday morning is dance class however #1 and #2 are neither in the same class or the same building (Husband has to be on duty). The other problem now arising is that #1 is being asked to playdates alone and #2 cant understand why he is not invited, it breaks my heart as my two boys are each others best friends and constant companions so now the elder is off doing his own thing and #2 is left to wonder why. I try harder to play with him and really engage with him BUT #3 the 6week old hasn't learnt to wait his turn just yet!! so my poor middle child is suffering a condition that I swore I would never let him feel (being the middle child) I know what it's like I was also a middle child.