Snotmom & Her Drugstore Therapy

I trudged through the doors at preschool this morning cloaked in a fog of assishness. Having only awakened minutes before to discover one of my eyes was glued shut. Apparently, my nose couldn't drain all that snot sufficiently, so it decided to make a new exit out of my eye. Disgusting, I know. My bed head needed cover, so I yanked a beanie on just before we left, which further accentuated my reddened eye and sagging expression, I'm sure. After taking one look at me this morning, Shelby decided that "it's more funner at school, mommy." Then she swiped the green snot across her face and grabbed her lunch box.
Just after saying our goodbyes at the school, I turned to leave and met another mom in the doorway.
"Hi Jess!" I offered in an attempt to maintain my new "Friendly Mom Mantra".
"Oh," she frowned, "How are you feeling?" with a sincere look of concern on her face.
Damn, do I look THAT bad?
After wishing her a good day, I immediately steered my sickly self to Rite Aid. I couldn't drive fast enough, I needed retail therapy but this one horse town only had drugstore cosmetics. I was desperate. Something has GOT to make me feel better (or at least look better)!
I then scoured the aisles for all products boasting to improve complexion, erase wrinkles, plump lips.
RITEAID Receipt: Eucerin Redness Relief Night Creme $14.99
ROC Anti-Wrinkle Serum $19.99
Revlon Colorstay Lipliner $7.99
Sally Hansen Lip Inflation Gloss $6.29
Body Loofah $1.99
I'm putting Ana down for a nap after her next movie and then I'm hitting the bath, slathering on a mud mask, and crossing my fingers there's a new me in there somewhere for $54.69.

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