3/30/09

The Nature of The Beast

"Win a year's worth of flowers, from 1-800-flowers, valued at $1000."
Yeah, RIGHT.



I have "Registered to Win" on Lucky Magazine's website for the past 39 days. Is this obsessive? Absolutely.



Each morning, I rise with the anxiety of an an addict in search of a fix, logging onto the website and typing my information (with eyes closed) at lighting speed into the tiny boxes of their registration form. And then, a rush of calm overtakes me.



My motivation? A free wedding gift. Yep, it's that bad. My sister is getting married this summer and although she has already booked her entire honeymoon, for some reason the lure of a "Grand Prize Hawaiian Vacation" has me hooked on winning it for her benefit. And then of course, there are those Manolo Blahnicks and diamond earrings...



Lucky Magazine is conducting 45 days worth of giveaways, with over 2100 prizes-the grand prize being a Hawaiian Vacation. Participants register each day for said prize and after 45 days of "Give Aways" Lucky Magazine claims they will notify all the winners(meticulously keeping each day's list of entries organized into coordinating categories with said daily prize). Here's a sampling of each day's booty:
The beauty of this contest is that on most days, the prize is offered to more than one winner (Three lucky winners will receive a Yellow Vintage Cruiser Bike, valued at $700). The downfall is that no matter how many obsessive mornings I register, I still may win nothing, or worse, one bottle of body oil, worth a measly 20 bucks.

And now you're asking yourself why I never shared this information with you so that you could obsessively register to win a bottle of body oil?! And I did. Back in February, I shared the link with you here: http://culturednativity.blogspot.com/2009/02/confessions-of-shopaholic.html
You just obviously value your time and your self worth more than I do. You know for a fact what I am daring to deny: No one wins anything in these silly contests and the winners are never announced and the prizes not awarded but rather absorbed into employee benefits and Christmas Bonuses for those Lucky Employees (a double entendre, don't you think?).
When have you ever met anyone who said, "Hey, I just won a new Ford Explorer at Vons today!" Never.
"I opened a can of Coke this afternoon and it exploded with confetti and then a voice recording announced that I was the Grand Prize winner of $100,000!!!!" Never.
What about the McDonald's Monopoly Game? Never.
It's all a farce. Myth. Something the government obviously hasn't the time to regulate. "Arrest those Lucky Magazine Editor's! They stole my Kate Spade Clutch prize!"
I am preparing to go through withdrawals after tomorrow's final registration day. 45 days of solid morning registrations (like sun salutations). I'll be plummeting to rock bottom this time tomorrow, cold sweats, nausea. An absolute mess until I find my next fix, a new registration form, another contest. I heard HGTV has a MILLION DOLLAR HOME Give Away, maybe I'll check that out...


2 comments:

NewportJaime said...

I am a fan of the McDonalds Monopoly game. Whenever I think of that contest, I think of this story.

http://www.nytimes.com/1995/12/08/us/donor-turns-fast-food-into-big-bucks-for-hospital.html

McDonalds says they didn't have any part in it, but I don't buy it. The winning piece was sent in the day after the contest started. Too much of a coincidence in my mind.

H said...

Did you win anything??