The Inconvenience of it all

This week began as any other week does for us, on a Monday. When John and I crossed paths that evening, we capitalized on the movie magic that was drawing our children in to a silent gaze as they stood, side-by-side, mid-action, staring up into the screen at whatever it was that caught their interest.
"I wanted to ask you about the rest of your week, namely, Thursday," I whispered (because we all know that this moment will crash and burn the minute your children realize you're making adult progress at anything-peeing, cooking, or the supreme sin, adult conversation).
"Oh, yeah," says John, leaning his head back in his 'I forgot to tell you my plans again' way, and continues, "That dinner I have to do happens to be Thursday night."
Because I couldn't have chosen a less convenient day of the week to schedule a fabulous, relaxing, quiet hair appointment (auuggh, bliss). Because that's how my week is gonna progress: INCONVENIENTLY. I should have seen the signs.
And then he sealed the deal with, "And there's another dinner I'm invited to attend on Wednesday night."
And as our week stumbled along, I began to add up the true meaning of two evening affairs on consecutive days: Single parenting on my part. Single life on his. And with that, Wednesday morning arrived, his bags were packed and although he commutes nearly an hour every morning and every night, neither of us could fathom making that long drive at a presumably late hour only to make the drive again the following morning. So he stayed at work from Wednesday morning until Friday afternoon. Hmmm. Where does that leave me?
Fast forward to the part where I'm sitting at the Med-Stop with two kids for TWO hours. True to my theme, extremely INCONVENIENT. Only to be ushered into a windowless waiting room for another 30 minutes. Do you have any idea what forms of entertainment I had to resort to in that closet of a space? Thank god for latex gloves and blood pressure cuffs!
Frazzled and starving, the girls and I made our way home by way of the local pharmacy, where we had to pick up prescriptions...and a lot of beer.
Well past 7 p.m. (which means well past dinner/bath/bed time), we arrived home.
Fast forward to today, when my dear friend demanded my attendance on an afternoon shopping spree. With too little time to muster up much guilt, and enough time to be sure hubby was situated with one child napping, I tromped on the gas and sped away with a flash!
And after three hours of heaven, my phone rang....I should answer it, I shouldn't answer it, I should answer it.
And then the miracle happened, my husband said the following words, "We are having so much fun, the baby is still napping, don't hurry home."
Wait, let me type this once more, "Don't hurry home."
And after hanging up, I grabbed my cel phone, my watch, my friend's cel phone and the clock off the store wall and lit them all on fire right there in the middle of my dressing room and danced the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!
And then, three more hours passed...
And then, I left my friends, loaded my treasures in the car and headed home, uneasy about the phone call I was about to make.
First I practiced what to say, "I just want you to know that I'm alright, but there's been an accident"....too harsh.
"It wasn't me, it was H. She held me hostage in the Ralph Lauren Linen department and wouldn't let me leave until she discovered the perfect shade of pink"...too ridiculous.
"There was a fire, and then a flood, and then a 50% OFF Sale!"...hmmm.
"Hello?" said John on the other end of the line.
Here goes, the moment of truth. I anxiously glanced at the clock in my car (the only timepiece that survived the fire), 7:04. I winced at the realization that I had left our house at 1:30.
"Um, hi" I half smiled, "I just want to say I am SO sorry I am late. I am on the highway headed for home. I completely lost track of time after the Happy Dance-I mean, after we talked earlier."
And then, once again, my husband said the most amazing words, "We're down on the beach, having a blast. THe weather's beautiful, the girls are happy, no worries. Why don't you pick us all up when you get here and we'll go out for tacos?!"
OMG, I LOVE THIS MAN. I LOVE THIS MAN. A perfectly convenient ending to an INCONVENIENT week.


NewportJaime said...

We need a day or two off every so often too!

JO said...

Three cheers for a nice break!!

H said...

Ahh.. I love when the story goes that way!