The End of Veganism

"I'm on my way home, what's for dinner?" John sarcastically asked over the phone. It was the close of our fourth day as fat free vegans in a half hearted attempt to cleanse a few of the organs in our toxic bodies. And hear me now, fat free veganism is a lot easier to say than it is to practice. By this point, I had acclimated my system to intense water consumption and no longer craved a double bacon cheeseburger with a side of chocolate. I happily crunched carrots and trail mix through the day, and silently passed the venomous gas that had accumulated in my so-called less toxic body whenever necessary. Detoxified...my ass! John called back as he was coming into town, "Hey, I need a beer." The man had read my mind. So we celebrated our last fat-free-leafy-greens-and-a-side-of-beans-meal with an ice cold beer. And then we got up the next morning and successfully negated all detox with a pound of bacon and a cheese and sausage omellette. All hail the end of veganism!

1 comment:

NewportJaime said...

Reading about greasy burgers, oily pizza, and fattening deserts is much more appetizing!