"I'm on my way home, what's for dinner?" John sarcastically asked over the phone. It was the close of our fourth day as fat free vegans in a half hearted attempt to cleanse a few of the organs in our toxic bodies. And hear me now, fat free veganism is a lot easier to say than it is to practice. By this point, I had acclimated my system to intense water consumption and no longer craved a double bacon cheeseburger with a side of chocolate. I happily crunched carrots and trail mix through the day, and silently passed the venomous gas that had accumulated in my so-called less toxic body whenever necessary. Detoxified...my ass! John called back as he was coming into town, "Hey, I need a beer." The man had read my mind. So we celebrated our last fat-free-leafy-greens-and-a-side-of-beans-meal with an ice cold beer. And then we got up the next morning and successfully negated all detox with a pound of bacon and a cheese and sausage omellette. All hail the end of veganism!