The Shopping Wanderlust

It's like Pandora's Box, you know, the whole shopping extravaganza. I mean, I haven't spent but maybe $100 on my wardrobe since New Year's (so, for you mathematically challenged-husbands-out there, that's SIX months!!!). And yes, I did rather successfully infuse my wardrobe back then with several key finds. So, I recently warned my understanding spouse that retail therapy is on a biannual schedule for me, and when it comes around it is INTENSE. Be prepared, you've been warned.
So I hit the Coverings Sale on opening day (which, in retrospect was optimum shopping, because when I returned the third day it was pretty picked over). I did a significant amount of damage. And then I arrived home and reorganized my entire closet so I could admire all the lovely items I acquired. And then I gasped! There are HOLES IN THIS WARDROBE!!! There are some very pertinent components that I have failed to introduce here. How did I miss this? Like the very necessary black leather boots that would compliment so many of these fantastic outfits hanging in my closet. And an everyday structured coat. And a long gold necklace. And another purse. And a pair of fab new wedges.
And that's it. With this simple list, I could achieve retail nirvana....for the next 6 months. Or, until I opened Lucky Magazine and realized I didn't have one of the "Must Haves" in their fall issue. That magazine will put me into early bankruptcy.
And where did I find myself today? Wandering around San Luis on that very dangerous block between Avanti and Therapy (for those non-local readers, a minimum of 6 fantastic and very expensive boutiques lie between the above mentioned stores and I was armed with a credit card). My Motive? The very key "I GET 40% ONE ITEM AT COVERINGS" coupon, a desire for a set of boobs to fit my bridesmaids dress, and a possible glimpse at the perfect shoes for the wedding. My Progress? Boobs, but no bra to put them in. With these rubbery suckers, I am going to reinvent myself until I can get the real deal. I have officially graduated out of a training bra for just $49.99. Now, if I could just slip them under my skin...
"Um, could I wear these home?" I asked the clerk at Fanny Wrappers Lingerie Store. Yep, that'd be me, dragging an empty "Breast Enhancers" box around town with a very proud and very arched posture.
So I took my B Cups for a stroll in search of shoes for the wedding. I found three pairs I loved, two that were actually comfortable, and all that were the right price. But then me and my $50 boobs lost the urge to splurge. Guilt set in. I don't need all these shoes, just one perfect pair for that bridesmaid dress. And just then, my posture slumped and I felt myself shuffling out the door to the next boutique. And the next boutique. Until a voice in my head whispered, "Go Home." And so I took my new chest and my retail urges home to reevaluate myself and my consumerism.
And when I pulled into the driveway, I spotted the giant Zappos box on my porch. When will this madness end????

1 comment:

JO said...

You are cracking me up with your Latest Obsession!! LMAO