Dream Boots

I bought my dream boots on accident. Yep, it was purely a Freudian Slip. A mistake. And now, they've been sitting at the post office for a week because I am crippled with guilt.
Let's rewind to last month. I had obsessed over black boots for the past three years. Seeking, searching, shopping and researching with plenty of dead ends and lots of send backs. And more recently, having finally discovered "The Perfect Black Boots" at a perfectly ridiculous price...I've been obsessing over these boots for the past three months. "They have got to be somewhere in my size!" I lamented. And they have got to be ON SALE!....SOMEWHERE.
I've emailed, I've googled, eBayed. I've researched and cross referenced. I even emailed the owner of a retail store who carries these boots so I could inquire about buying them. "They're gone", she replied. This particular designer makes a limited number of boots and releases them every fall. These shoes sell out, and when they're gone, they're gone. "You'll have to wait until next fall's release." NEXT FALL!?!?!
And you're scratching your head because you're wondering what sort of fashion hole I fell into that I'm buying boots direct from a limited supply designer. Yeah, I myself was wondering the same question. And my husband thinks I belong in a loony bin, too...right after I check myself into a credit consolidating group.
But they are THE PERFECT BLACK BOOTS! And because he married me, he grudgingly entertained a conversation about these boots- so high priced, we could landscape our yard for the same price. Well, sort of.
The conversation went something like this: "Look at how fabulous they are!"
"Uh huh....why are they so expensive?"
"Well, they're handmade in Italy. They are perfect. AND they fold down to an ankle boot so...really, you get TWO boots in one! It's the price of TWO SHOES!!!!"
"Uh-huh....okay, you said they'd be available in September?"
"Yeah (drool)."
"Why don't you just save up a little piano lesson money from now until the release and then you can buy them?"
The man IS brilliant. And compassionate. And wonderful.
So, we struck a deal, right then. He would make me wait. And I would have the boots and the cash to pay for them.
And then, one late night, eBay jumped out of my computer and beckoned me to search for my perfect boots....just to check....just to see....because maybe....
They were there!!! In my size!!! And in black and perfect as ever. There was no way the owner would accept a low bid. They're perfect! But just in case.... I threw out a number. A number that was HALF THE PRICE. She couldn't possibly accept. I mean, the price was almost reasonable.
And then I closed the computer and fell asleep.
The next day I was getting eBay emails and congratulations all over the computer. YOU WON! You're bid was accepted! CONGRATULATIONS????????????????
For three days I lie in wait to break the news to John, my wonderful, understanding thoughtful husband. And when he finally conceded to my insanity---HALF PRICE!!!!! I pressed the PAY button. (Only after scraping every nickel and dime from the sofa cushions, raiding my daughters' piggy banks, and cashing their last Christmas checks). And when everything was calm, he added, "But you can't wear them until you have saved up the money."
I needed cash, quick.
The post office called-you have a package for pickup. It needs a signature.
I drove by the post office today, hoping to catch a glimpse of a sparkling box blaring the words THE PERFECT BLACK BOOTS. I think I'd better pick them up soon. If I wait any longer my mail carrier is gonna be rocking the most PERFECT BLACK BOOTS to accompany his mustache any day now.
Rocking these gorgeous jaw dropping boots in leather perfection:



In case he wants to know just how to wear them while delivering my mail, and for the rest of you readers, YouTube breaks it down here:

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