The ONE day I haven't showered and am still clad in running clothes, which consists of tight stretch pants and a hoodie, I picked Shelby up from preschool and we headed to the grocery store for all the ingredients to make Rice Krispie Treats. Because that's what hot chicks do on a wild Friday night.
We strolled into the grocery store and I adjusted the running cap over my bed head hoping against hope I wouldn't make eye contact with ANYONE who closely resembled an acquaintance. "Please don't let me see anyone I know," I whispered to myself, well aware of the giant Mount Vesuvius Zit growing on my chin, hangin out there all ruby red and devoid of any makeup. If the bill on my cap was any longer, I would have pulled it right down over my chin.
And then I remembered the one enhancement I had made to my face last night, "The Burn Treatment" applied before bed. DeVita makes a 15% Vitamin C Solution (basically an acid solution) that, when rubbed all over your face the night before, causes it not only to burn like the dickens but also tightens and smoothes fine lines and wrinkles. And it DOES work! Last night was the first time I'd tried it and I had to admit that aside from the giant zit on my face, my skin felt pretty darn smooth. I don't look my age, I must look like I'm only 30 or 31 today!
So the girls and I putted through the aisles and made our way to the check out line when I spotted a young guy wandering from line to line with a slip of paper in his hand. My good mood and my smooth skin implored me to let him go ahead of us as he looked like he was in a hurry. And then, when he turned to face us I panicked. I know him...from somewhere. What's his name?? Oh yeah, he's coming toward me, he's a friend of my little brother's, he must be about 24 now. What's he doing here, now?
He smiled as he headed toward me, so I said, "Aren't you one of those Panetteri Kids?"
"Hey! G.? Wow, you look amazing," he said as he greeted me with a hug.
Oh God, I haven't showered. Yuk, please don't smell me. Wait, did he say "Amazing?"
That DeVita Stuff must have worked!!
We chit chatted for a few minutes, I introduced BOTH my kids to him and caught up for a few minutes until we said goodbye.
Walking to the car, I congratulated myself one more time for using that DeVita Solution...he used the word "Amazing" to describe me. And just as I walked around the car from one carseat to the other, buckling the girls into their seats, I bent over to strap Shelby in and felt eyes on my back (end).
"See ya later," he waved in the parking lot.
And that's when I realized he wasn't referring to my skin. The last time I had seen him I was in high school, and weighing in a full 30 pounds heavier than I am today. Okay, well, I'll just have to take what I can get. 32 years old and Amazing. The back part of me anyway.


Light Night Conversations

Lying awake in the dark last night, I listened to the laboring hark of my 4 year old. Every 3 minutes she would painfully bark a dry, itchy cough. First I tried slathering Vicks on her chest, back and feet. Coughing every 4 minutes. Then the Children's Cough & Sore Throat Tylenol (which I know is no longer recommended by doctor's whose children are sleeping). Coughing every 4.5 minutes.
"She can't be getting any sleep," John said as the clock struck midnight.
I rose from the comfort of my bed for the 6th time, and headed to the kitchen. I poured a generous spoonful of honey and carefully made my way to the Cough Queen. I even glanced at the liquor cabinet plotting my next move.
"Here, babe, I have some honey for you," I whispered.
She sat bolt upright, and looked me in the eye (no sign of sleeping here), then gulped down the sticky sweet liquid.
And just before she collapsed onto her pillow, she smiled and said, "I thought you said you had some money for me."


Four Days to Tear This Motha Apart

It was an unforgettable homecoming. Our family had been rotating into and out of separate cities for four days. The first two days Shelby had gone to San Jose with her grandparents. The last two days I had spent away in Los Angeles arriving home at dusk perfectly exhausted. Having Shelby to myself for a few minutes, before John and Ana appeared home from work, I could tell I was dealing with the evil twin. She was droopy, teary, and resembled no part of herself. She was a perfect toddler disaster. I made my best effort to give her my undivided attention in an attempt to revive her. I stared into her eyes, searching for the old Shelby I knew and loved. I kept my eyes off the piles of laundry and random toy things scattered around the living room. Focus, mommy, focus. Where is my sweet little girl? And just as soon as the truck pulled into our driveway, she reared back her head and spout cruel, angry comments about her little sister. Who is this girl?
Ana came in smiling and cooing, completely unaware of the giant black cloud recently cast upon her. I took a second to greet my exhausted single parent hubby. Ana got as far as clambering up onto the sofa when all of a sudden, "BLauugghhh!!" She puked all over the living room. And I don't need to tell you what her older sister had to say about all of this.
Welcome home, mommy. You are officially back on full-time duty. Let the crying begin.