2/6/10

Pinnochio-A Disney Classic

John and I had fought the national television invasion and its technology counterparts for many years. Especially once our second child came along. Yep, we haven't subscribed to cable or channeled any free local channels on TV since 2004. We weren't giving in to all that American propaganda they sell you on public television. We simply wouldn't rot our brains with force fed consumerism and gyrating half naked bodies...for the sake of the children, of course.
When Shelby turned 4 we broke down and purchased an iPod for music storage. Then we realized the darned thing held movies. A lot of them. (Wow, this thing is pretty amazing!) We made our first trip to San Diego and before we knew it, silence overtook the cab of our vehicle...for THREE HOURS!!! OMG, this iPod thing was a miracle! A set of kiddy headphones and two pudgy hands to grip the iPod and we were all set for glorious road trips, one movie at a time.
iPod invented the "LOCK" button for parents like us.
We had one finger on our anti-TV dignity until black Friday came around this Christmas. Right before our big road trip to Lake Tahoe. Shelby was now the ripe old age of 5 and little Ana, at age 2, was already a bona fide movie junkie. So we sprang for Target's latest deal, an RCA-7-inch-dual-screen-DVD-player for only $89.99. A small price to pay for road trip sanity, me thinks.
There you have it, our parental fall from grace. Never say never, I always say....
John made a point that this beautiful-RCA-7-inch-dual-screen-DVD-player-bringing-silence-and-joy-to-all-those-persons-riding-inside-this-vehicle would only be turned on when we embarked on LONG road trips.
Sure buddy.
When you drive 17 miles to and from school twice a day with two 5 year olds and a 2 year old in your car, that DVD player sure comes in handy. Road Trip, Shmoad Trip. You can't put a price on 20 minutes of silence.
On to the point of my story. The girls and our carpool buddy were once again glued to their screens in the back seat as they watched the preview to their first film of their morning commute. I happily hummed along to the theme song from Disney's Pinocchio as the commentator sold the girls on the latest revised edition of the age old classic. "Pinocchio," sang the dreamy fairy from the film, "a boy made of pine."
And then, the little girl we carpool with giggled and repeated, as only a five year old could, "Peeenochio! Hahaha, a boy made of PIE!!!"

2/4/10

Why Does Everyone Want to Be The Mommy?

I was drawn back into the bathroom (Yes, I left my daughters alone in the bathtub. There. I admitted it.) by shrieks and squabbles that sounded something like this:
"No, Ana, I want to be the mommy!"
My two year old whined back with equal gusto, "NO! I be da MOMMYYY!!!"

And I wondered to myself while this ear piercing scene unfolded, "Why would anyone want to be the mommy?"
Could it be the terribly relaxing outings of buckling and unbuckling multiple car seats while balancing a diaper/wipes/snacks/sippy -laden purse on one shoulder and pinning the other child to the car in hopes of avoiding a parking lot accident. Only to arrive at whatever public place for another publicly humiliating scene where her children empty the basket of lipsticks on aisle 4, knock down a display of macaroni n'cheese and then proceed to rearrange the greeting card section. When she arrives home she realizes she forgot to pick up the prescription she went there for in the first place.
Oh no, it's got to be those amazingly romantic dinners where Mommy touches her sagging buttocks to the dining chair for 2 seconds before someone demands another cup of water or a different fork. Where everyone in the family devours the food Mommy slaved over for the past two hours without so much as a "Wow, you're an amazing cook! This meal is the most delicious thing I've had all day! THANK YOU!" or simply put, "You Rule, Mommy." Mommy jumps up and down like a Jack-In-The-Box while the rest of her family sits, eats and converses. When they've finished, the table strewn with empty plates and cups, she can shovel her cold meal alone while downing a lukewarm beer. Then Mommy gets to tackle the dinner dishes and THEN round up the kids for bedtime.
Remind me why everyone wants to be the mommy? It's not like Mommies are ever in control. Or get to do what they wish? Why doesn't anyone ever want to be the Daddy? I think he's got it pretty good. He not only leaves the house alone, but he's in charge of himself and several others all day long!! And he goes out for lunch with other adults. What more could we ask for? These poor children have been mislead. Who wants to be the Daddy?!?! I do.

2/3/10

Life At Random

I want you to know that my dream boots really are all that I imagined them. Aside from the lack of self massaging soles (yeah, for that price I think these shoes should give a little back to this owner), they are incredibly comfortable and just as fab as I had hoped. I wore them to ZAP's Grand Tasting at Fort Mason in San Francisco last weekend, for those non-winery people this is a HUGE wine tasting of Zinfandels around the country. I stood on concrete in them from 10 to 5 and never flinched. Then I added some earrings to my outfit and hit the town for dinner...without ever taking my boots off. Made it out until 10 before exhaustion set in-the kids, of course, NOT ME!

On a family note, if you haven't been to the San Francisco Cable Car Museum you should definitely add it to your itinerary. First off, the admission is FREE. Since when does that exist? And it's located ON a cable car route. Our entire family LOVED seeing how it all worked. We also LOVED Pier 39 on Fisherman's Wharf. There's the two story carousel and an amazing Houdini Magic Shop with employees who do tricks for your kids! For $10 you can watch your kid launch dangerously near the sun on a bungee trampoline. See below:


I fear the PTA is going to swallow me whole this year. I attended my first "committee meeting" and have resisted the urge to sign my soul away on the dotted line but I know the time will come. Those women are ravenous for new blood. YIKES! I'll be sure to keep you posted as my daughter's school organizes their first major fund raiser, a school wide art auction, and the sanctity of my soul.

I am horribly embarrassed by the idiots from Idaho who tried to sneak Haitian children out of Haiti last week. What assholes. Of all the lowdown, dirty, horrid acts of inhumanity during such a tragic time. Missionaries Shmissionaries, let 'em rot in jail.