2/28/09

iFrustrated

After two years of pleading, I finally convinced John of our NEED for an iPod. One exorbitant price later, then a theft at Costco, and one MORE exorbitant replacement price later, we realized that the iPod price tag was just the beginning of a serious financial commitment. Somehow, the iPeople never mentioned how useless an iPod is without the iAccessories to go with it. Ridiculous! In protest, we got creative. First, there was the 6 hour road trip: #2 Lesson learned, sharing earbuds is not an option. iPissed. We promptly purchased a Belkin radio tuner w/cradle at $69.99. iHappy. #1 Lesson learned was, although it seemed we were the last people on earth to buy an iPod, unlocked vehicles at Costco parking lot and visibly available iPod result in stolen iPod. iViolated. Then, there was the joyous discovery of tuning our toddler in to a Sesame Street program on the iPod while traveling! iHooray! The guilty pleasures of technology savvy parenting. "I can't hear it mommy! I can't keep the earbuds in my ears mommy! Mommy, they fell out AGAIN!" (crying, louder crying, waking up sleeping sister crying, additional crying ... in stereo). iShit. Logic says we should buy a set of children's headphones. But we said, "Let's tie the earbuds to your headband!" iHeadband:









Then the Belkin tuner broke inside the car cigarette lighter. iTragedy. With stoic self control, we went 4 weeks before our next road trip when we swerved off Highway 5 to the first Target we could find and bought the cheaper $39.99 version of the Belkin iTuner without cradle. iThrifty. After one solid hour of tuning and retuning with little success and a lotta frustration, we swerved off the highway once more to return the cheap iTuner and get the replacement Belkin iTuner with cradle, now $89.99. iInflation. I also bought a set of children's headphones for $14.99. iSmart.

After a year of automobile iPodding, we searched our outdated stereo receiver for a much needed "Auxiliary" plug that was all the rage. Apparently, this luxury outlet would allow us to enjoy our iMusic on our home stereo speakers. Hmmm, iInterested. Maybe we need a new Stereo receiver with an iPod plug for $899.99. iNOT. After another month of pondering, I began buying and returning random MP3 converter cables in a futile attempt to connect our iPod to our archaic receiver. And yesterday, on my third attempt, I found the miracle iCable ($10.49). iRelieved. This morning, John's 1989 alarm clock, with tape deck finally died. iAlarm Clock?
iBroke.

2/27/09

Tube Snake Boogie

While cleaning our car yesterday, Shelby and I rocked out to ZZ Top's Tube Snake Boogie (hopefully the You Tube video showed above). I sang along with the refrain, "She likes to boogie" until Shelby interrupted. She pondered before asking, "Does she like to pick his boogies or her boogies?"

2/26/09

Verizon Time Warp

My first mistake was lying. My second mistake was listening to my 4 year old.

I knew today was the day I could renew my VERIZON contract and get a phone that actually remained charged for 10 minutes. Bubbling over with excitement, I enthusiastically invited my daughters to make the 20 minute drive to SLO so that mommy could...take them to the Children's Museum!!! (Wait, what? Did I say that? Okay, I'll just roll with it)

We were two blocks from the museum when fate plunked a gigantic Verizon store in the middle of the road ahead of us. And the parking spot right in front was available! It was fate.
Fast forward to 37 minutes later when the parking meter stops to give my car a ticket (I had already scrounged every last cent from my purse and the floor of my car).
"WAIT!"I yelled at her,"Please! I'll move it!"
I then struggled both kids BACK into the car, circled the block and found free "Verizon Customer" parking a block away.
"Mommy! When do we go to the Museum?" Shelby wailed. Guilt had just shot an arrow STRAIGHT through my heart. But we couldn't leave now, the saleswoman was transferring my contacts to a NEW Pink Shiny Blackberry right this minute.
With two tired, screaming children on my hips, I dragged myself through the Verizon doors with the determination of an arctic mountaineer. I will get my phone. I will not abandon my purpose. I will summit!!!!
FORTY TWO minutes later...that's over an HOUR of waiting...we grabbed two handfuls of complimentary chocolates and fled the building. Off to the museum!!
Now, how am I going to park without any more change???

2/25/09

Top Five

Here are the top five items of interest in my life right now:
#1. I am drowning in my own snot: for the second week in a row.
#2. Ana has evolved: My 18 month old has suddenly begun to verbally interact. Her older sister has taken this as a sign that she should increase physical attacks on her now verbally capable sibling. Go figure.
#3. I got desperate enough to schedule my first semi-microderm abrasion facial.
#4. Rainy weather sucks ass=Elmo Rocks.
#5. I've embraced a 10 week training schedule for a half marathon in May in yet, another attempt to recapture my youth.

2/24/09

Snotmom & Her Drugstore Therapy

I trudged through the doors at preschool this morning cloaked in a fog of assishness. Having only awakened minutes before to discover one of my eyes was glued shut. Apparently, my nose couldn't drain all that snot sufficiently, so it decided to make a new exit out of my eye. Disgusting, I know. My bed head needed cover, so I yanked a beanie on just before we left, which further accentuated my reddened eye and sagging expression, I'm sure. After taking one look at me this morning, Shelby decided that "it's more funner at school, mommy." Then she swiped the green snot across her face and grabbed her lunch box.
Just after saying our goodbyes at the school, I turned to leave and met another mom in the doorway.
"Hi Jess!" I offered in an attempt to maintain my new "Friendly Mom Mantra".
"Oh," she frowned, "How are you feeling?" with a sincere look of concern on her face.
Damn, do I look THAT bad?
After wishing her a good day, I immediately steered my sickly self to Rite Aid. I couldn't drive fast enough, I needed retail therapy but this one horse town only had drugstore cosmetics. I was desperate. Something has GOT to make me feel better (or at least look better)!
I then scoured the aisles for all products boasting to improve complexion, erase wrinkles, plump lips.
RITEAID Receipt: Eucerin Redness Relief Night Creme $14.99
ROC Anti-Wrinkle Serum $19.99
Revlon Colorstay Lipliner $7.99
Sally Hansen Lip Inflation Gloss $6.29
Body Loofah $1.99
I'm putting Ana down for a nap after her next movie and then I'm hitting the bath, slathering on a mud mask, and crossing my fingers there's a new me in there somewhere for $54.69.

2/23/09

Confessions of A Shopaholic

I've been keeping a secret for too long now. It's been 9 days since I discovered it. And I haven't shared it with you. Although I must confess I was confused at first. But now I am clear and I want to share my Shopaholic-ness with you. Here are just a few of my secrets:
1. Coverings is having a 40% off their jeans (albeit on one display top-not ALL their jeans, but even still) and I fell in love with a pair of Citizens of Humanity, storm blue denim which you can view here: http://www.citizensofhumanity.com/collections_.html what the picture doesn't show is how sweatpanty soft these are. Knowing what I know now, I would have paid full price.
2. Coverings is also having their Annual Warehouse Sale in April. So count your pennies and mark your calendars to be in SLO when Michael Stars T's are $15 and cashmere sweaters go for $35.
3. My Absolute FAVORITE store in SLO downtown is Therapy. There's a sister store in San Francisco. Go, see, try on. Always new non-main stream designers
4. THE BIGGEST SECRET: Go to www.luckymag.com/breaks DO it now, Do it every day. Since February 15th, they have been holding a daily giveaway (winners to be announced after March 31st) where prizes include Diamond Earrings, Flowers for a Year, Kate Spade Clutches, a Beach Cruiser, even a Hawaiian Vacation to Oahu. You can only enter once each day. Every day's prizes are different and pretty cool. Go, log on, cross your fingers!